What is my partner's love language and why is it so important to know?
Are you speaking different love languages ​​in your relationship without realizing it? Why can it be an advantage to know each other's love language, and what exactly is it?
Have you once again done the dishes without your partner appreciating it, or do you also miss some more physical contact in everyday life? Then it could be because you don't speak the same love language at home.
We've compiled the most important things to know about love languages ​​to help you and your partner understand each other better.
Why is it important to know your own and your partner's love language?
It is not unusual that you do not know each other's love language. Have you tried washing clothes or shopping on the way home from work many times in a row without being appreciated? Or maybe you bought flowers or a gift to take home, but miss the excitement from your partner? You want to avoid the above, which is why it is also important to know your own and your partner's love language.
We are not saying that it solves all the everyday problems or is the deep dish when it comes to relationships. We just think that it would help, and especially make it easier for you, to do the little things for your partner in everyday life.
Everyone wants to be loved and has a need to love. We do this most often through these 5 love languages:
- Time with each other
- Words of appreciation and praise
- Gifts
- Services
- Physical touch
And what do the 5 different love languages ​​mean?
Of course, love is not so square that you can divide it into 5 boxes as such. But let's dive into them a little deeper anyway.
1. Time with each other
If your love language is time with/for each other, then you feel most loved when you and your partner have quality time together. Togetherness, presence and having made time for each other just makes you happy! Whether it's that you have a whole evening together, go for a walk or just cuddle around a home project. It's not as such what you do together that matters, but the time you spend together.
2. Words of recognition and praise
In this love language, praise and affirmation mean a lot to you. You love it when your partner puts into words his feelings for you and about your relationship. It could be, for example, when your partner tells you in the morning how good you look, that they love you, that you cook well, or just that you are super nice and funny. So you enjoy recognition in the form of words.
3. Gifts
When your love language is gifts, getting a gift is just the wildest declaration of love for you. For example, if your partner has bought a souvenir home from a business trip, buys you home flowers, your favorite candy, or anything else that could have reminded your partner of you. You love it and think it's the cutest thing in the world. For you, it is significant, and it does not necessarily have to be an expensive gift before it creates meaning.
4. Services
With services such as love language, you feel most loved and appreciated when your partner, for example, voluntarily does the laundry or washes your car. It could also be that your partner drives you to work or wakes you up with a cup of coffee because you have to get up later. The feeling of someone volunteering to help you makes you feel loved.
5. Physical touch
With this love language, you feel the love through kisses, hugs and intimacy, but it doesn't necessarily have to be in the context of something sexual. For example, you enjoy holding hands when you go for a walk, cuddling and lying very close to the sofa or getting a hug in the kitchen when cooking. All the touching you can get close to with your partner makes you feel loved and you really appreciate the physical touch.
Why should you know your and your partner's love language?
When you learn to understand each other's and your own love language, it can make many things easier. It might help you avoid misunderstandings in everyday life when you want to do things for each other.
Humans are quite funny on that point: you have the habit of "speaking" the love language that you would most like to receive. In other words, the love language that you have yourself will also be used towards your partner.
If your love language is favors, then you will most often do favors for your partner to show your love. If your partner speaks a different love language, they won't necessarily notice what you're trying to communicate.
This therefore means that you must try to shift the focus from what you yourself would like to try to familiarize yourself with your partner's love language.
How do I use love language in everyday life?
Remember that love language is not the recipe for a healthy and strong relationship, but that it can be used as a tool to make it better.
As a starting point, experts believe that you have one main love language and one to two secondary ones. Therefore, please start with your partner's main love language as the focus. As soon as that is clarified, the whole thing becomes a lot easier.
You can also put your feelings and needs into words more easily when you are aware of your own love language. In this way, you also make it easier for your partner and yourself.
The small things you can do for each other in everyday life are therefore also easier to relate to when you know each other's love language.
We have found a few examples of "actions" for the 5 different love languages
In order to make it as clear as possible, we have found some examples. how you can speak the different love languages.
Time with each other
Show here that you have set aside a whole evening for your partner, so that you can watch your favorite movie, go for a walk together or drink your morning coffee together.
Words of appreciation and praise
All kinds of praise and positive phrases apply here. You can give praise for their efforts at home, at work, praise for the outfit, appearance and the simplest: tell them that you love your partner. Put your feelings into words.
Gifts
Both large and small gifts work well here! Buy your partner's favorite sweets or dessert to take home, buy take away or buy a piece of jewellery, a holiday, concert tickets or something else entirely. When you have this love language, it's not the amount that matters, so it's only your imagination that sets the limits for the gift.
Services
If you speak this language of love, you enjoy services, as I said. You can possibly driving your partner to work if it's raining, doing the shopping on the way home, emptying the dishwasher or doing the laundry. Again, small and large favors count equally.
Physical touch
This one may seem easy to some, but if you don't speak this love language, it can actually seem quite unnatural. Try to have more physical contact with your partner than usual. Give a little extra cuddle in the morning or in the evening, give that extra hug or that extra kiss. We are absolutely sure that your partner will be able to feel a difference.
Can you recognize your own love language?
Now you have read a whole lot about what love languages ​​are. Can you recognize yourself as speaking one of these languages? If it's a little difficult to recognize your partner's love language, you can simply ask what they value.